I know I have. You probably have too. Why because it is human nature. Either consciously or subconsciously, we find ourselves comparing our work, body, hair, or whatever with somebody else. It can be either positive or negative.
Why is it not right to compare ourselves to others?
We are all unique in our own way. What works for them may not work for us. In turn, it’s a waste of valuable time to allow ourselves to compare us to others. It can even be harmful.
You ask, when you compare yourself to others, you open yourself up to depression, longing, feeling of sadness, or thinking you can’t be like the person you are comparing yourself to for whatever reason. You might be ecstatically celebrating an accomplishment you poured your heart and soul into to reach this achievement. Only to find out your neighbor is celebrating more significant success they achieved. Leaving you feeling like yours doesn’t matter, wiping away all your joy in less than a second. Poof, it’s gone into thin air.
I have been here, come to meet my friends. I wanted to celebrate with them only to find out one of my friends had an even bigger event happen to them. When one of my other friends found out, she announced my achievement to everyone in the group. They all acted like my hard work wasn’t as worth as my friends. Yes, I was happy for my friend, but the whole situation made me feel inadequate.
It is unhealthy because it lowers your self-esteem, which allows dought to enter your mind. Dought can sabotage everything you are working for, your appearance, work, or home life. It takes away your self-worth. We are all worthy people; we need to remember that it doesn’t matter what others think of us. What matters is how we feel when we succeed in reaching our goals and achievements. No matter how small they are.
Protect yourself by learning your triggers. Mine is the writing group 20BooksTo50K. I see all the people making lots of money. I can barely sell eight books. But, then I have to remember I am a newbie Author. Become aware of why you compare yourself to someone. Are you afraid you are not doing something well enough? Is it from anxiety, jealousy, or from the feeling of lacking? Have you ever thought or said, I wish I could make money like the person in the huge house on the next block? How many times do you ask questions like this one? Then focus on why you ask then because this is comparing yourself to them. Yet, you may not know their situation. They might be living in a big house but dying from a disease. You can never know what the other person is going through unless you walk in their shoes. Your shoes fit you for a reason. It’s so you can have your own success. Thus, the next time you think about what I wish I could have, or I want like, remember, your shoes fit just right.
Know who you are. Now that you know your shoes fit just for you. Now is the time to choose your path, whether it be you making a difference, doing a calling, or having a purpose in life. Your way will be unique only to you. So, don’t look at your neighbor going. I wish I could? For you are two different people with two separate paths. Everything happens in its own time for a reason. Don’t try to force something before it’s meant to happen.
How Do You Know If It’s Right for You?
Good question. The best answer is to do what you love to do in life. If it pleases you, you are on the right path. If you hate what you are doing, keep searching until you find the right track. Learn your strengths, then turn them into a career. If playing video games all day is your thing, become someone who tests games for companies. Or maybe you want to help make a game more challenging.
I didn’t know what I wanted to do for years. I started as a Yeoman in the Navy. Office Manager for Mechanic Shop. Secretary for an office. Branch Manager for a Staffing Agency. Specialist for Child Care Group. Owner of a Construction Company. Selling Makeup for Younique. To my destiny now, which is being an Author, writing my stories to share with the world.
Let’s face it if you enjoy what you do. You will be much better at succeeding in that field. If you hate your job, you don’t even want to get out of bed to go to work. Then you are subject to failure within this field. Each of our strengths is different. They may be some who have the same areas as you in which you want to surround your self within that field. You can help one another to grow. But, remember their shoes fit differently than you.
Be Thankful For What You Have
Always be grateful for the little things. When you focus on what you don’t have, it takes away the joy from what you do have. Only having joy will re-enforce your self-esteem to make your confidence grow to keep your spirit alive to allow you to increase the way for a better life. When you feel down and blue, remember there are people in this world that are far off worse than yourself. Don’t take anything for granted. Keep our focus on your goals to improve yourself.
If you ever get in the situation to help another. Be sure to pass along some knowledge to someone within your field. Help them to realize they can’t compare themselves to others. They have to walk in their own shoes because they fit only them, not another person. Nor does the other person’s shoes fit you.
You Can Still Admire Others
Yes, it can be okay to admire another person. Especially if they are in the field, you want to learn. So, long as you are not jealous or envious of them. Admiring someone can feed the fire within us to help achieve what we want out of life—seeing them succeed in their accomplishments. To know, you can do the same. When you no longer worry about measuring yourself to them, you will be much happier. Be happy for them; learn from their mistakes. Use the good they have shared to better your success. Let the student surpass the teacher.
Appreciate Others Instead of Comparing Yourself to Them
This day in age with Social Media, it is so easy to allow yourself to compare with others, either good or bad. You have to be careful not to fall into the rut of looking at someone’s else post of achievement, letting the negatively sink into your mind with self doubt. Let’s face it. Not many people are going to display how many times they failed before getting it right.
Before you open any app of Social Media, know your worth. Not sure of your worth, then make yourself a sign about your worth, put in front of you or next to you. As you scroll through the feed, you feel the doubt starting look at your sign focus on the positive. You are unique, with shoes that only fit you. Be confident in yourself plus your abilities. Don’t try to live up to someone else’s standards. You have your own; for a reason, you don’t need to seek validation from another. Yeah, it’s great when it happens. Enjoy it, but don’t let it be the focus of your life. You will only lose precious time that can be spent on your projects.
If you find an area where you are finding yourself comparing to others? Then limit your time in that area, whether it be Social Media, the Mall, a Writing Group. Instead, focus on what you need to get done for yourself.
Keep inspirational quotes nearby, when you think you can do something read them. When you find yourself thinking you wish, you were like someone else. Remember your shoes fit you. If you have to make a note of that, hang it where you can see it to remind you that you are a unique individual. Don’t ever give your power away to another because you feel you should be like them.
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