How To Deal With Insecurities

Welcome, how has your week been? As a writer, you deal with many insecurities or feeling that you are not good enough. Believe me when I say you are more than good enough. Everyone has flaws.

It is how you handle these flaws is what makes you stronger. Even famous people have imperfections they have to contend within their lives. They figure out how to cope with it as they go on with their life.

Ask yourself this question, “What makes you feel insecure?”

Whatever comes to mind is what you need to tackle. The first thing to do is look at the cause of your insecurity. Why do you feel this way? Sometimes you allow yourself to feel discouraged by allowing doubt to creep into your mind.

It helps to have positive motivators nearby to see. Either in your planner, on a wall by your desk, or the refrigerator. Seeing these enables you to keep positive thoughts to help lift your spirit.

As a writer, we get criticized a lot. Someone doesn’t like the way you write. The direction you took your story. The fact you are not writing the next book fast enough. Unfortunately, criticism is a part of life. Now, there is such a thing as good criticism. It is when people give you feedback on your work for you to make improvements. Even the best criticism can make you feel insecure. The dought of what someone says to you makes you question, Is this for me? Am I any good?

Don’t fear this is normal. The thing to do is take this feedback with a grain of salt. Know it is going to burn, but it is for the better. It would help if you created a happy place in your home where you can go with a book, soft music, or a drink to relax, allowing you to refresh your inner soul.

Do you love yourself?

Sometimes it is hard to love oneself. Life can beat you down. The key is to accept every part of you, even your flaws. Sometimes you can work to make weaknesses better. Other times it may not happen. Not because you do not want it to, it may be out of your control. Understand the difference between the two, change what you can, accept what you can not change. Whether it be a medical condition or you are low on funds.

Whatever the reason, you can not let it bring you down. Yes, it can be harder than it seems. Life is going throw you curve balls that affect even the best of us. We have to find a way to deal with the low points in our life. Once you do, it will only make you stronger.

Do you limit your beliefs?

No, I am not talking about religion. I am talking about the belief of doing your work in progress with a sense of confidence that it will be the next bestseller. You know deep in your heart you have put your best into the project. Whether it be writing a book, doing a diet, an exercise routine, it does not have to be perfect. Know deep in your heart; you have done your best. The more you do things, the better you will become.

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Do you feel insecure due to a lack of knowledge?

Today it is easier than ever to learn new things. Videos on YouTube and Facebook are a great resource. There are reasonably priced courses. Plus, there are free colleges to attend online classes.

Using Google or other search engine makes it super easy to locate the destination to learn what you want to know.

Do you ever self talk negatively?

Yes, I am saying, do you talk good about yourself? Do you accept when people talk good about you? Or do you focus on the bad? Do you feel you are not worthy of such praise? These things can bring down your confidence—allowing you to feel like you can’t achieve anything.

Learn to say good stuff about yourself. So, when others tell you a compliment, you can accept what they say—allowing it to build up your esteem.

Do you ever get a rejection?

As a writer, if you ever submit your work to an agent, you will get lots of rejections. It is part of the writing world. Yes, it can be hard to get rejection after rejection. It can bring you down quickly.

On the positive side, some agents will give you feedback. It will allow you to know if you are not a good fit for their projects. Or it might be something pacific they are looking for story-wise. They may even give you feedback to let you know how to improve your work. So, don’t take a rejection as my work sucks, I will never be a writer. That will be the sure key to failure.

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Are you on Social Media?

Do you get insecure after seeing a post? Social Media can be the worst for self doubt. It can be hard to scroll through the main feed or in a group to see someone post they sold a certain amount of books making money. Knowing you have only sold a couple of books. Doubt creeps into your mind. Is my book not good enough? What am I doing wrong? Why can’t I sell that many? Obviously, I was not meant to be an author? It is so easy to fall into this line of thinking.

The thing you have to realize is that every situation is unique. The person that posted may have been selling books for ten years. Or they may have a ton of friends that helped them get started. Maybe they know someone famous or hired a professional marketer to helped promote their book. You do not know the circumstances, so do not compare yourself to the things you see on Social Media.

The main thing to remember?

You are a unique human being. Love yourself when no one else will. Do not compare your work to others; every situation is not the same. There is good criticism which you should welcome. The bad criticism let it go, do not keep in your mind. Forgive the people who said these things. They may have told them out of jealously, or they may be having a bad day, and they took it out on you.

Change your belief. Make sure you keep positive, inspirational things near you to help you be confident in what you do. It doesn’t just have to be about work. It can be about your personal life, for they go hand in hand. People try to separate the two. Unfortunately, you are one person. You do not have a switch inside; you can turn on or off. Have a relaxing place to go to allow all your soul to refresh from the negativity in the world. Also, surround yourself with positive people. Allow them to help you keep your spirit fly high. Accept when they tell you good things about yourself.

Most important. You can do anything you want; you just have to set your mind to the fact you will achieve your goal no matter what? Only you can make things happen. Yes, you can have help along the way. But the bottom line is you can make or break yourself.

It doesn’t have to be about writing this concept is for anything you do in life. Whether you want to become a dancer, an entrepreneur, an athlete, a gold medalist, a waiter/waitress, a secretary, a doctor, or an actor/actress, you have to hold onto the drive within you to keep it alive. Do not allow negative thoughts to break your spirit. You will go far in your achievements when you ensure the positive stays in your life. Of course, you can not forget about all the hard work that comes with success.

Have a list of goals you want to accomplish. Do not fret if you get behind. Kick it up a notch to make sure you achieve your goal. Mindset is half the battle when dealing with insecurities.

Thank you for reading. Please share the insecurities you have faced. What caused then plus how you handled them.

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